I am taking a detour. There is a faster and more effective way to get from A to B but I refuse to follow it. Somewhere amidst the corporate world of mergers and takeovers, I am doing a bit of soul searching. Isn’t your conscience the most annoying thing in the world? I stumbled across a picture and for the life of me it was the most imperfect of pictures to say the least and I found myself questioning my motives.
In the end the best person won and the truth was I wasn’t even in contention. Not for want of trying but my heart was not in it. How could I even comprehend subjecting someone to such a hurt. I must have been driven by the all too familiar force: fear.
So I have keyed the codes in my alarm system again and re-activated them. Intruders would be shot on sight. The house is secure again. But it is old and big. There are rooms that have seen better days. I cannot change them for if I did it would change me and I want to hold on to something that is true. The fire is warm and welcoming. The night is weary and I am turning in. My escape draws near and I am giddy as one can be in this age.
Maybe tonight is as good as any night. No heaviness, no discussion, just please understand me.
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