Full Moon

The torrential rain came to a sudden stop and once again the night was clear. The moon in its splendour dances in the twilight. It is a lovers’ night, picturesque even. I am sure that Romeo stood below Juliet’s balcony on such a night.

The pianoman plays almost obsessively, and then it dawns on me. There is nothing. The pain is a faint memory of something that occurred but somehow amputated from the present. Somewhere between the past and the present I have shaped my future.

Don’t call this Love, because you know I have no use for it. I have rid myself of my demons and cleansed now, I find it distasteful to even pursue it. Will it surprise you that it is up there with Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny. Something for the kids and I am too old for such foolish things. So if Love comes calling, take a message for me. Like an atheist I renounce my faith and surprise, surprise lightning does not strike me.

These feelings are foreign to me but I am comforted by the unfamiliarity. I even see the commerce in my flesh. Now that the cards have been played, let us see this to the end. And to the victor I giveth the spoils. Let me honour my debts.

Please excuse the abruptness, but there is only genuine grief in my lamentations. My very own soliloquy and like Hamlet I am in my customary suit of black. It is time for me to face the music that comes from next door and be ready for my presentation. A dance for the highest bidder. I don’t really feel like dancing but then again, you already knew that didn’t you?

I am astounded by what I feel, nay, the lack of what I feel. Some little imp with a mischievous grin came whilst I was napping to douse the flames within me. I know not what to make of it.