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I was playing chicken to tempt fate. It seems so often that I no longer feel the fear. Close your eyes. Hold on to the steering wheel as though your life depended on it (and it does) and close your eyes. Tight. Keep them tight hold the wheels straight. Trust on the Jedi instinct or on the cruel Fates, whichever it doesn’t matter. I promise you the best thrill ever. Only open at the sound of a horn. Those are the rules. Ready? Set ... go. Or are you chicken?

Apart from cheating death I am playing other games which keep me amused. I never knew I could be so cruel. But only adversity can bring out the animal in you. I promised you unedited spillage of the soul and this is what it is. I am over it all. I reckon that the world can bear a bit more scars.

It was a near miss tonight. And the car? Lucky bastard. Enjoy life. My gift is as twisted as your most inner desires. It’s not home I seek but something else. I can’t see. Everything is a blur and my favourite DJs are egging me on. Seventy minutes of pain. Let’s proceed. We should applaud them.

The night is young and you will forgive me if I contributed to the decadence. Because you will never know how close we came. A fool is still a fool by any other name. And yes it was vintage wine. But you did not see that. Have fun with mass production.

By the time this is read it would be too late. I am composed once more. These are just games I play to pass the time and until Death wins, I will keep on playing. There is freedom in this but you would not understand. Perhaps Bosch was right. Earth was the devil’s playground. Be that as it may I am without remorse. It’s just a story. Don’t lose sleep over it. I know I won’t. And when I tell you something... do me a fucking favour, don't fucking believe it.

I am over help. I am seeking control.