Elementary My Dear Watson

*Clack* *Clack* those were the sounds which greeted me this morning every time I tried to move my legs. Oh the pain. But enough of the physical and let’s continue into my unsteady but nonetheless brilliant mind. Self-praise is the first step to recovery.

In this journey to nowhere, I have constantly turned to others for help and support. It’s not very easy for me to admit I need help but when you’re idea of getting over someone is to move to Switzerland, you know it’s time to pick up the phone. Anyway I call them my Elements. Each one different in their approach and within this eclectic bunch, I find some sort of solace and a sense of belonging. For the sake of confidentiality let me give them nicknames which makes them sound like members of Captain Planet but like I said I have an unsteady mind at the moment.

There is Air, who I have known for yonks. She is fiercely loyal and knows me like the back of her hand. Even when I am lying to myself she tells me or at times plays along with it cause I am not just ready. She is steady and practical but never mean in her pragmatic ways. She gives me too much credit though, she thinks that this is a phase and I will bounce back and refuses to listen to me when I tell her this is the end of the world. Patiently she listens and goes through my history so I always end up suitably silenced after our sessions.

And then there is Water. Water is very much like a soft lilting melody. She is almost certainly an even tempered creature who never gets ruffled. When I talk to her, she soothes me with her reasons and empathizes. She is honest and despite it not being her bag of tricks have many of times dragged me to places where she thinks I need to go to heal. That companionship touches me so much. The availability she gives every single time.

Next is Earth. In terms of understanding the rawness of what I am feeling, there is no doubt that Earth knows best. After all she has been through it and is so secure of herself that she has no qualms about sharing the pain and hardship to get where she is right now. And the annoying thing is she is right. Like before I even do it she tells me this and this is going to happen. It’s so scary. I don’t know if its power of suggestion but maybe what I am going through is so predictable. But Earth kills me. With her jokes, her take on the lighter side of things, and the offering of listening to songs by Brian McKnight, Shai and Mariah Carey. She even has her own collection of break-up songs which I refuse to take despite her offering it to me like every five minutes.

Last is Fire. Young and fiery. Her nature is to challenge and to appeal to my anger. I adore her because she speaks my darkest thoughts and rationalize my thinking because only she can fully understand the depths of my mind. Yet she is profound when she is calm and I can spend hours with her dissecting and concocting theories. However since we are at times too similar, taking Fire’s advice is always a risk. It can either go fantastically well or beware of volcanoes erupting. But such an imp. I remember asking her one day in exasperation “Who made you Guru?” and quite simply she said: “You”. And I guess I did. Each one of them. I don’t have confidence that I won’t wreck my life with my choices so for the moment I am leaving them to make the big decisions whilst I just decide on what to have for lunch or dinner.

There will come a time when I have to make my own decision but for now, I am content in taking a holiday from being me. So for the moment, I am in my element(s).