There are a lot of drugs out there which are not chemical in nature. But addictive nonetheless. And we should treat them with the same caution. As for the addicts, we have to accept that they are prone to the same relapses and weakness as those junkies you find in the back alleys. They just can afford to dress a little bit nicer.
This may be a bit dark. But I think we all retreat to a dark place from time to time. Entertaining thoughts that may worry the faint-hearted. If we should ever tell. I promise you I won't.
I cannot quite grasp this place I find myself in. I would not describe it as a predicament but it troubles me nevertheless. Not enough to put me to bed. Terrified with fear. More of bemusement. And as interesting as I think my life would be to read, I cannot write honestly enough to justify as such.
I keep trying to learn from my past. I keep trying to be different. To not repeat the same mistakes. BUT I am starting to realise that perhaps the mistake is to assume that everyone reacts in the same exact way. I am not quite sure where I am going with this theory but maybe it is time to shake things up.
In the meantime, I have work to do. And I hate it. And I resent it. But I will do it nonetheless. Because it is a distraction.
All my misgivings manifest,
xxx
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