Our Goodbye

I am angry at the world.

My heart has taken such a toll I fear that I am less human or humane nowadays. I live on borrowed time and am collecting moments until my end.

I have loved. I am in love. And I now know that sometimes the Universe has a way of screwing you over. I guess it really does not owe us anything. But yet I feel this relentless pursuit.

I do not know how to live in half measures. To be content with second best or to deny my nature. It is my passion that will be my downfall I know and yet a life lived with such caution seems to me not worthy.

I have had enough of 2011 already. I am all out of emotions and I want to feel nothing.

But this triangle pulls and pokes at me. Jabs my heart and my conscience and in the end I know that my true love cannot survive this test. It is too much to ask of anyone. It has always been. So I understand. But I cannot accept without being incredulous to the world. Happiness is just an illusion and even though we have prepared ourselves for this very moment, I cannot mask my grief.

I cannot love anymore for this is torture. I need to escape from myself.