I have never been a fan of an affiliation based merely on proximity. I always feel that there is a certain shallowness to it and as always I guard my true thoughts and feelings jealously from any barrage of questions from the unfamiliars. 'Enquiring minds would like to know' is not a motto I live by.
That said, I know I am a bag of moods just waiting to explode. Waiting and perhaps to a certain extent baiting for the right moment to pounce. I lose control like the best of us I must say but as my age grows in numbers... my need for short term fantasies has lessened somewhat.
My mentor tells me I have a cold heart. Perhaps that is true but I rather be aloof and removed from the commonness of it all. One thing I am not is an emotional slut. Does that make me choosy?
Absolutely. It's just that I cannot live a life in which I succumb to the belief that there really is no choice in the matter.
It's a dark night tonight. Lately my dreams have taken me to weird places. I keep dreaming of chariots and in particular me driving it with my black horses. Wild and majestic beasts. And I am racing through the coliseum. But I never finish the dream to see whether I get to the finish line....
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