For the past two weeks I have been walking around with a cloud upon my head. It was black, fat and full of lightning. The rain poured like an endless stream of water and I was trying to juggle each raindrop in futility.
I started to get slightly paranoid. No, that's not entirely true. I started to get a lot paranoid. Like everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Like singing dramatically in your car only to realise your boss was in the car next to you..and you have been stuck for awhile in that bumper to bumper gridlock as you belt out the Avenue Q album. Like getting a haircut to change your look and now you want it back. And the list goes on. I was starting to feel understandably annoyed.
But the fact of the matter was, I was just overwhelmed. There is just so much one person can take and at times I am taken to the bridge and wondering whether it is all worth it. Because I would kill for normal problems but the world I live in, is full of intrigue and pain. At times it reads like a graphic novel where good and evil meet. And the outcome is usually bloodied. But you are what you are and you cannot change that. I still don't know whether it is worth it and whether doing the 'right' thing is what it's cut out to be.
I'm not truly over the supposition that I am the inverse of a four-leaf clover but I have come to realise I have never been lucky to begin with. I don't win lucky draws and I don't get the big prizes. I do however make my own luck when I can and just sometimes I hold Lady Luck by the cuff of her neck and threaten to break her neck if things don't go my way. Sometimes.
So when people say I am lucky to be who I am, I thank them and smile. Because it's easier to do so. But believe me this is 'luck' I can do without. Yet we do what we have to do and try not to think too much about the wheel of fortune. So I have to work harder than most. So what?
And yes if it does continue to rain... I'll just pull out one of my many novelty umbrellas :)
Editor's note: I wanted to write about something completely different but there I go getting side-tracked. Well all the heavy stuff has just gotta wait. I'm due in bed. There really is no point to this post!
Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit. ~R.E. Shay
I started to get slightly paranoid. No, that's not entirely true. I started to get a lot paranoid. Like everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Like singing dramatically in your car only to realise your boss was in the car next to you..and you have been stuck for awhile in that bumper to bumper gridlock as you belt out the Avenue Q album. Like getting a haircut to change your look and now you want it back. And the list goes on. I was starting to feel understandably annoyed.
But the fact of the matter was, I was just overwhelmed. There is just so much one person can take and at times I am taken to the bridge and wondering whether it is all worth it. Because I would kill for normal problems but the world I live in, is full of intrigue and pain. At times it reads like a graphic novel where good and evil meet. And the outcome is usually bloodied. But you are what you are and you cannot change that. I still don't know whether it is worth it and whether doing the 'right' thing is what it's cut out to be.
I'm not truly over the supposition that I am the inverse of a four-leaf clover but I have come to realise I have never been lucky to begin with. I don't win lucky draws and I don't get the big prizes. I do however make my own luck when I can and just sometimes I hold Lady Luck by the cuff of her neck and threaten to break her neck if things don't go my way. Sometimes.
So when people say I am lucky to be who I am, I thank them and smile. Because it's easier to do so. But believe me this is 'luck' I can do without. Yet we do what we have to do and try not to think too much about the wheel of fortune. So I have to work harder than most. So what?
And yes if it does continue to rain... I'll just pull out one of my many novelty umbrellas :)
Editor's note: I wanted to write about something completely different but there I go getting side-tracked. Well all the heavy stuff has just gotta wait. I'm due in bed. There really is no point to this post!
Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit. ~R.E. Shay
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