The Island

It’s a Friday and like the best website in the world “Roll on Friday” I have decided to update.
Recently I was going through a really good friend’s wedding photo album online. It was a bit of a case of mixed emotions as I could not make the wedding in Essex. Flying in just for that seemed a bit frivolous, even for my standard. But the entire crew from my firm, ex-firm were there in full force.

You’d think that by now I wouldn’t care right? WRONG-O.

Immediately there was a pang of regret for not still being there in London. And then all over again I was missing my small but completely adequate apartment which for its size could really store a lot. Ok so the wardrobe wouldn’t close properly but you know what I mean. I even miss the three flights of stairs you had to climb up and down every day. It made me fit (not that it stopped me being fat) and along with the journey to the tube station, served as my daily exercise. Even the coldest of winters could not beat those solitary walks I use to have as I listened to my IPOD. I was Kanye West, I was Mika, I was Girls Aloud or whoever else that was on my playlist. I even had the Imperial March from Star Wars on it. Somehow listening to it in the car here is not exactly the same. Driving stresses me out. The traffic stresses me out.

Ok it may be I am romanticizing a little bit. I absolutely hated it when it rained over there and it rained 90% of the time. It’s not too bad when it isn’t windy but sometimes when the wind was crazy and my umbrella has decided to turn inside out, I am guilty of wishing I was back in sunny Kay Hell. But it is a conversation piece the weather there. I can spend hours talking about it. No one bats an eyelid here when there is a torrential rain for the last few days that it floods the river. Not until it also flushes cars along with it. Very much of a “ho-hum” attitude but I guess that’s a good thing. KL-Lites (God knows who coined this) must have much more interesting thing to talk about.

But continuing on down the path of memory lane, let’s walk a bit further. I miss my weekend routine.

Without fail the latest issue of Heat (£1.65) and National Enquirer (£1) would fulfill me like no other drug. I felt close to Amy, Kate and Angelina. I know I can get them here but it’s not right outside my front door and I can’t run across in between my laundry to get them. But again I should not complain since I don’t ever have to do laundry here.

Whilst once or twice I would get an urge to try a new restaurant, but more often than not it is a case of rotating among a handful. Funny how a little chili oil can change a meal. It’s like fairy dust! There’s SUMTHING lacking in the Dim Sum here.

As a girl not against spending a few bobs on clothes, somehow the shopping experience there seems a lot better. Maybe it’s just me but even I get slightly self-conscious about wearing my skulls infected t-shirts here. Over there I am an individual (in my book anyway) and here I am just a weirdo. There seems to be an unspoken rule here that despite what they say on the invitation card, dress code is bling unless told otherwise. My poor pumas have not seen light for awhile and I am sure all these heels will come and bite me when I am 60.

Maybe I will write more on this but for now I am so missing it despite the fact it was all pretty much self-service which made me think, what would happened if I really reached the top of my wallet’s desire? I have a feeling it is very much a case of be careful what you wish for. You might actually get it.

And I know it was my fault. I made the decision. No one forced me to high-tailed it. Or perhaps that last sentence is slightly untrue. Coercion comes in many forms. Guilt in particular was in play here. There were bridges that I have left unattended for too long and I needed to have tried before *God forbid* it was too late. What would you have me do but answer the call? Yet the choice lay with me and even though it was definitely not a case of open arms, then at least it was with open eyes.

So now this is where things are. I have adjusted in all aspects that matters and yet there is a feeling of being unfulfilled. I fear I might turn into the legal equivalent of a factory worker. Day in day out in the factory churning out contracts after contracts and life passing me by. I cannot help but I have this image of a me with a blue plastic shower cap on. Angels protect me.

Geez, all this from just looking at a photo album. Get a grip.

I wonder how much tickets are for December? I am going to stay out in the chills until my poor ears can no longer take it. Of course in one of my fabulous coats...