Goodbye My Friend

My dearest Natalie

I am still trying to make sense of this tragedy. One minute we were laughing and the next thing I know I am staring at your picture on the front sheet of the Metro. What a way to learn the horrid truth but even more so what a way to end a beautiful life. To say that we were shocked is an understatement my dear, we were lost for words and disbelief set in. I cannot accept that I will never see your smile again, your addictive cackle, your incredible mind and most of all that heart of gold of yours which you wear so often on your sleeve. I don't think it has sunk in, and perhaps it is better if it doesn't. Then maybe we can all convince oursleves you just might walk around the corner.

It is hard to accept that there is now only 11 of us when the 12 of us have always been a team. We started this journey together and we were nearly there Nat. 18 months of craziness. We always knew you would make the cut but you among all would be the most concerned about that dratted application. Now it just seems to put things into perspective, how pointless it is. We sat quietly all the way to your mother's house... all of us lost in our favourite memories of you. It just seems right to have that silence, after all it was you that was the life of the party. I didn't know what to say to your Mom... I'm sorry...I just hugged her and we cried. Your sisters are being so brave and I feel for them. We nearly made it all of us...we were so excited to begin another phase of our lives together but this is a cruel twist of fate.

I will never forget you and how you made an impact on all our lives... we were richer for it but at this moment there is only this void. It was suppose to be our first match tomorrow ...the Unstoppable Duo we crowned ourselves along with the Great Defenders, the Great Wall of China or whatever ego tripping name we came up with. We promised that this summer was our year and we were going to rule the courts. God, I miss you so much.

Rest now Natalie. You will be in my prayers and in my thoughts. We have no more tears to cry today but maybe that's the way it should be. We held each other real tight throught it all and it helped to be together for the whole day but you are a large void to fill Nat and the emptiness is vast.
Sigh...enough now, let us remember you in happiness.. no matter how painful that is. We love you hon.