On the edge

I can't see through this smoke and mirrors. The songs which play taunts my soul. I see visions when I close my eyes and my thoughts... my thoughts are the worst of all...they plague me with their lies. They are things which are long overdue... things which needed to be said aloud and finally laid to rest.

And they were.. because in the end the only thing which separates us is our similarities... our differences are few and far in between. There are wishes but my star seems to fade...or is just not answering my calls on purpose.

Always here... on the verge of it all... just waiting to take that plunge high on that diving board... and the only thing that is stopping me is I cannot decide which dive should I perform. I wonder if I should attempt a somersault and go down with a bang... or do a safe jump.. feet first... just to hit the water. Play it safe or go all the way.... I take a long drag to forget that it is entirely... undoubtedly...even exclusively my choice.

I don't question my existence. I don't wonder where I am or suppose to be. I think it is rare to be in this present state of mind. In the know. Even if everyone else is in the dark.

It's just a conversation. I don't believe anything is set in stone and I love the way the writing is never on the wall but let's keep talking...even when I don't need any answers. I can't see the faces beyond the flickering candelights that borders us.... but I can hear it in the voices.. and I feel for you....... but you know I cannot commiserate... simply because there are things I just cannot share....so eventually you will resent my silence.