A Time To Kill

I have time to Kill. I hate it when these things happen. When you have so many things to do but you can't start or continue because it's dependent on someone else doing something first. Self-sufficiency is a dying art. We are all connected in this madness and it's hard to be an island. Maybe I'm reading too much into things. After all the dependency I am talking about is related to work. Stupid other side's solicitors. I hate dealing with small firms. They either don't have enough people to deal with the query urgently or they give too much importance into this whole work-life balance malarkey. But I suppose it could be worse. I could be dealing with one of those small firms that have like all 5 clients and are so desperate to impress that they query everything. Which in the end slows down the whole project and pisses of their client anyway. Choice between two evils.

I'm at work and I tend to morph into this jaded person. But I guess its just a role, we all play it. The trainees here are so bloody kiasu I tell you, everyone here is up everyone else's back. It's polite backstabbing and it's the deadliest. Yet I feel at home here. Heck I do it too. I checked my chargeable hours for the last 6 months against one or two of the trainees I detest. Billed about £60k for the firm compared to this particular idiot who keeps gloating that she's spending so much time working. She clocked £45k. Get to £50K and then will talk darling.

I can't work out what to do about the phone call I got from the stepsister last night. I came home tired and tipsy after my spiderman impressions (i.e. hands on the wall all the way to the 3rd floor) but that call sorta sobered me up automatically. I can't deal with the things that was said right now. But it brings me back to my past which I am so desperate to leave behind. I fell into a deep sleep not wanting to dwell on it just yet.