Loyalty v Honesty

Gallivanting aside, it's time to connect with my inner thoughts. Lit candles all around, draw the curtains. Calls for calming music...ahh "the Sounds of the River on a Moonless Night in the Yanamamo Forest"..perfect, I know it would come in handy one day...Take a deep breath... Let the music cleanse, refresh and let your soul wander into the abyss...Now begin....

Yes, despite the popular opinion that I am on crack, I have been actually pondering on this for a bit and my demented intro should not conjure an image of me sitting cross-legged in my Gandhi robes wearing red paint of my face with a little feather stuck to my head. I have these questions you see and a bag of issues.

Everyone I know keeps spouting off this gibberish that honesty is the best way to go and you should always be honest in any situation especially in a relationship. Apparently this golden rule is suppose to somehow absolve you from any wrong and if everyone practiced this the world would be a better place. All very well in theory but in practice I have come to learn that honesty more often than not brings with it an unfavourable reaction from the recipient. No they don't turn around and say "thank you for that I really appreciate you being honest"... but instead start to question the truth of what you say. So what's the point in that? On the flipside, if you were the recipient... how many times have you been in that situation where you think, "I so didn't need to know that, you could have just lied to me and I'd be happy". Ignorance is bliss and if you really cared for that someone shouldn't their happiness be paramount? So when is it acceptable to indulge in those little white lies and when is it appropriate to use this whole honesty card?

I have always been faulted for being how should I say this...being too diplomatic. How is that ever a bad thing? Surely honesty should only be allowed if its tailored beneath the cloak of sensitivity... a kind of nudge rather than a stampede of elephants. It is a delicate thing a person's feelings and I think we should all learn that intricate dance of tip-toeing around it. It made me laugh when I overheard someone say that her partner should have been more honest in the relationship and they would have worked out.... Darling, you wouldn't have been able to handle it.. brutal honesty can never be an aphrodisiac.

I have been on both sides of the coin, countless of different scenarios, privy to others' situations as well...and the sad truth of the matter is I am not convinced that honesty is priority. Many of times I wondered what the hell I was thinking in revealing a certain something... but most of the time I could not help but think that being lied to is preferable to accepting the fact.

No, this whole open book business has never been my nature and I'm not going to start now but what I would say is perhaps I have been putting my faith in the wrong values. Let's not forget loyalty, it is no doubt safe, predictable and unadventurous but when push comes to shove...it helps to know that they're on your side. So should you always reward loyalty? Even if your heart is not in it? I suppose there is only one way to find out....and surely it cannot be wrong in the eyes of purists if the only person you were being dishonest to was yourself? Everybody wins.