Extracts

I wish for a little time alone, to deal, to ponder and most of all to just float. But this past one week it has been one thing or another, and I find myself always in the company of others... always on display.

Today is the day I wanted to strangle that bloody idiot. I swear who doesn't turn on their phones like for the whole day when you're suppose to meet up later on. Complete imbecile. Spoiled my whole day worrying about it, why don't people make it easy for me to bail out on them? And I was doing him a favour as well. Then he got all huffy, such a girl I tell you.

Speaking of which a dear friend is trying to convince me to join her in her neverending quest in the land of mankind... Apparently it is suppose to be fun. I on the other hand think she's gone bonkers and should leave me to decide what I want to do with my life... once I get around to it.

I'm on my best behaviour at the moment, and I think I'm going to crack soon. I had to prepare the whole apartment in expectation of living the next few weeks with a straight guy, oh yippedee-doo-dah. So there I was frantically removing traces of my impending gayness and other vices (another time), but then it struck me I so don't know what's gay or not nowadays. Everything is so meshed up, blended together it's just hard to fit them in neat little boxes. Oh well, at least I know THAT desktop background had to be changed. It gets a little messy in this closet of mine. Now I've replaced it with a picture of myself in my Rolling Stone pose... so that he will only think I am just narcissistic...and that's already out in the open.

I have to make that decision soon before I lose my nerve, it's stupid to some but right now it makes so much sense I wish I could do it this second. I keep swaying between playing it safe and living it dangerously. Aaarrgh... I would do a poll but that would mean revealing it..why is it so hard just to make up this mind of mine. My decision is affected by the chilly weather.

I am so tired, but Friday was incredibly boring, a bunch of us played the Cutesy Pet Name generator thing online and sure enough everyone had normal enough sounding pet names like "Tiger Toes", "Naughty Jubblies" and "Thunder Muffins" but for me??? IT just had to be something different. Spent the whole day being called that and after about the 20th time I soon got sick and tired of it, thank God I am moving departments..perhaps they will have more common sense up there on the 5th floor. I had enough ... Puppy Schmookiddy-Dooks is off to bed.