Birthdays and such

Here I sit with Bublé playing in the background and I can’t help but feel as though I am in a different time and in a different place. Perhaps in an old black-and-white film smoking a cigarette with pools of smoke just creating a mysterious experience. It is maybe apt that the city lights are behind me whilst I write this. Just another chapter in a forgotten life.

I am frazzled to say the least. Finding procrastination an addictive cocaine that I seem to be unable to refrain from. At the moment I am griping the whole business of staying in a flat in London. Stolen mail and abrupt crashes from above as a result of the not-so-trendy anymore floor boards have made today simply annoying. But I guess that’s city life for you… crass, impatient and inconsiderate.


It’s nearly time for the annual embarrassment to happen. Birthdays. I never know how to treat them. If history proves to be correct then some time in the next few days I will probably become all moody and anxious about it. Somehow when it comes around you are forced to take stock of your life. What have you done that has made your life worthwhile? Different from the rest of the world. Quite often it would result in the bitter reality that your life is pretty mediocre to say the least. So what of that? Do you strive to achieve greatness or do you resign yourself to fate? When life dares you, do you run or face it with determined courage? I find that as I grow older I am less inclined to take the challenge, preferring to follow the sure route rather than the unbeaten path. Is it cowardly? Or merely because I feel at this point of time I have more to lose?

But I digress in my point once again… which was originally bout Birthdays. Despite my awkward reaction to it, it usually passes by without any casualties. Then life thankfully resumes. In the meantime whilst I am in this stage of contemplation where I dissect my life intricately like a mad scientist would I try to answer the old question of what do I want in life? In no particular order and in apologetically incoherent ramblings I present to you my mission statements:-


To love madly and unhesitatingly,
To have been hurt but to rise from it better and wiser,
To learn and never stop learning,
To know humility but to achieve greatness,
To be the life of the party but cherishing solitude,
To better learn to mask the pain with a disarming smile,
To know richness then decide life is not about money,
To have friends littered everywhere but to only trust a handful,
To achieve success but still be unknown,
To maintain dignity yet still live in a closet,
To command respect and to practice loyalty,
To settle old scores and make no new ones,
To educate ignorance and to practice tolerance,

To live a lie but still know the truth,
To die remembered but never fully understood.