Aloof Waiting

What does time do? Blurs the memory. Fakes your emotions. The Puppet master of life. But I let myself be played.

What does understanding do? Dumbs down your feelings. Rationalise your true self. Makes you belief you are better than what you really are. The Lie you need to survive. But I allow it.

What does honesty do? Forgives the confessor. Dulls the colours of your fiery anger and hate. Shames you into Compliance in a plot you didn't conceive. But I follow it.

So much to say but words just gets in the way. How do you describe a stare? The exchange of a glance. The longing in eyes that you recognise from a past you never lead.

Listening to reason and buoyed by a norm that wasn't your making. Learning to unlearn the things that comes naturally. Suddenly out of fight and weary from the battlefield. Will you help me up? Walk with me from a land faraway to Home. There is safety in numbers but this... only makes me realise just how singular I feel.

My description of you is not a reflection of how you really are. I have convinced myself that you are exceptional and all the little things that makes you mortal I have pushed aside. We will disappoint each other... a question of when lies in between us.

In my pessimism I lock away the combination. Keep it close. What do you do with affection that threatens to bubble over? Turn the fire down.. or pour it all on you.

Like a psychic you come alive each time my thoughts crosses to you. It excites me and irritates me, making me confused. What use is all this when we have made our choices? Or have we. Is it immaturity to doubt. I await your mistake. As long as it is not Me.

You will disappoint me. I will disappoint you. Can we agree on that? Then in the meantime, will you wait with me.