Sense of Ending

It never quite stops does it? The run, the rat race, the not –knowing, the frustration, the temporary happiness, the sudden changes, the highs and the invariably lows, the exquisite, the talk, the drama, the lies, the horrid truth, the work, the loves, the spoils, the bills, the laughter, the tears, the music and whatever else this life brings.

I suppose everyone feels this way. But sometimes I find myself so detached from my own life. My double track playing again in my head. Maybe mild bipolar? I can only hope.

I don’t know why lately I have had a thought about the past. I think as you grow you wander through the memories in your head and you find yourself lingering at certain turning points. But many lives I was close to I have not kept in touch. Does that make me horrible? I am wistful. Of good times. Is it enough sometimes to erase the bad? Can we all really try to be more than we ever were?

I cannot say things are perfect. I think I need help. I am just so tired of being strong.