Candle & Cigar

There is just so much garbage out in the world. I have become a blog snob as I trawl through the drivel that people write. Edited nonsense. The banality of it all. I don't fault a boring life, just the lack of honesty in the writing. What annoys most? The forced giddiness of it all. If life was that entertaining and stress-free, why would you bother writing at all. No, the respite in which writing brings is for those who understand that sometimes, expression is needed to make sense of it all. Be brave and write with heart.

I have switched off my phones tonight or this early morning. Just to have some time to myself. Also because I am pissed off but that's a story I am not prepared to share. Sometimes I have to remove myself from the world and confrontation. For me. To find some semblance of calm and regroup.

Above all, to stop making excuses for people. I do that sometimes. Perpetual doormat. I cannot stand it. I have learned the hard way that people take advantage of you and treat you like a fool if you do not stand up for yourself. And sometimes we have to cut ties to rid yourself from their cancerous nature. Because I put myself out there and it gets tiring to always justify their behaviour. I have learned that it is best to see the evidence in their actions and then decide whether a person has your best interests at heart. After all, we all live to try and be a better version of ourselves. Therefore if someone inspires in you the kinda pain or self-doubt, we need to evaluate that and see whether it was done for the right reasons. Take a mirror to ourselves and have that soul-searching conversation.

As to why I am inspired to write this, I must confess that by tomorrow I will be over this episode and would have moved on. Or maybe Monday. I haven't quite decided yet. But the decision is more practical than emotional. And I am proud of myself. For coming this far. I need boundaries. I need limits. Because I really do not have time for asshole-like behaviours.