I should really get tons of these t-shirts and pass them around for my friends to wear when I am walking beside them. Because this is exactly and unequivocally how I feel.
For the most of it, it was entirely my own doing. I am my worst enemy. But I just had enough of thinking you know. So I did what felt right. And who’s to say that thinking makes my actions any smarter anyway. It has made me more miserable that’s for sure but I had my pride to keep me company (or so I thought). But in my ‘don’t think, just do’ moment I could have sworn that the simplest things were more rewarding than some of my fully thought of moments. A million times more.
My exhilaration was short-lived and I am just done trying to reason. There are some things you just rather people figure them out on their own without you. It makes it better somehow. But what do I do know since I have come to established I am less than average in intelligence.
To say I am feeling depressed would be an understatement. I feel like I tripped and fell down in a pile of mud and to add further injury an elephant came by and sat on me.
What did I expect anyway? You cannot expect those to see what is obvious to you. You cannot believe everyone has the best intentions for you. But at the very least I did not expect …. well let’s not get into that.
The reality is I am damaged. I don’t know if I am fixable or not. Hell knows. I know I am no prize. But I always thought that somehow sincerity would go a long way. I guess I am just too stupid to realize.
Whatever it is I know I lost the will to care anymore. It’s like I want to climb on to the rooftop of the highest building during the rain and thunderstorm and scream to the universe… “It’s that all you got???”. Knowing my luck I will probably get struck by lightning.
I don’t know what we are after anyway. I can play mind games with the best of them but heart games... I just know better than to even try. It’s just too close to home and you just have no control.
I know I may be stupid and slow but surely even I cannot be completely off the mark???
Why does it always take a tragedy before we realise what is important?
The answer is so simple but why is it we insist on always complicating things.
When we will see that there is simply no reason but rather it just exist because we do. It is as ingrained in us for the very reason you or I exist. It's just IS.
Because in a mix of arrogance and humility nothing else have come close. Because in a world of lies and false hopes, this has always remain the purest of things.
I'm just too tired to run around but just because we don't speak of it, it doesn't mean it's not real. It does not mean it fades away... after all if that was the case it would have been forgotten a long time ago. God knows we had every opportunity to. But here we are.
For the most of it, it was entirely my own doing. I am my worst enemy. But I just had enough of thinking you know. So I did what felt right. And who’s to say that thinking makes my actions any smarter anyway. It has made me more miserable that’s for sure but I had my pride to keep me company (or so I thought). But in my ‘don’t think, just do’ moment I could have sworn that the simplest things were more rewarding than some of my fully thought of moments. A million times more.
My exhilaration was short-lived and I am just done trying to reason. There are some things you just rather people figure them out on their own without you. It makes it better somehow. But what do I do know since I have come to established I am less than average in intelligence.
To say I am feeling depressed would be an understatement. I feel like I tripped and fell down in a pile of mud and to add further injury an elephant came by and sat on me.
What did I expect anyway? You cannot expect those to see what is obvious to you. You cannot believe everyone has the best intentions for you. But at the very least I did not expect …. well let’s not get into that.
The reality is I am damaged. I don’t know if I am fixable or not. Hell knows. I know I am no prize. But I always thought that somehow sincerity would go a long way. I guess I am just too stupid to realize.
Whatever it is I know I lost the will to care anymore. It’s like I want to climb on to the rooftop of the highest building during the rain and thunderstorm and scream to the universe… “It’s that all you got???”. Knowing my luck I will probably get struck by lightning.
I don’t know what we are after anyway. I can play mind games with the best of them but heart games... I just know better than to even try. It’s just too close to home and you just have no control.
I know I may be stupid and slow but surely even I cannot be completely off the mark???
Why does it always take a tragedy before we realise what is important?
The answer is so simple but why is it we insist on always complicating things.
When we will see that there is simply no reason but rather it just exist because we do. It is as ingrained in us for the very reason you or I exist. It's just IS.
Because in a mix of arrogance and humility nothing else have come close. Because in a world of lies and false hopes, this has always remain the purest of things.
I'm just too tired to run around but just because we don't speak of it, it doesn't mean it's not real. It does not mean it fades away... after all if that was the case it would have been forgotten a long time ago. God knows we had every opportunity to. But here we are.
So just because we are silent, it doesn't mean we can ignore .... the elephant in the room.
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