Perception in time

Just what exactly am I running towards?? Things seem to be moving too fast and I am unsure if I can keep control of it. Trying hard to still be enthusiastic even optimistic but I cant seem to shake the feeling of impending doom. Perhaps I try too hard to stay on the 'path', perhaps it is wise to renegade once in awhile. However CONSEQUENCES can be such a bitch that it just reigns you in all the time. If I could be bothered to actually put on my sneakers I'd just run.

I have to stop living life as though I am a thirty year old with kids in tow. I'm not. This old head gets a bit weary with all these responsibilities and sensibilities. It would be nice to just tell myself to get lost and discover the sweetness of 'discovering' who I really am again. This is what I am good at, debating with myself over and over again. Irritating myself until I need to get away from myself. But what I'm doing is just stalling isnt it? What a sad excuse for an Arien.

Thankful for everything I have. I better be. Higher you climb the greater the fall. Maybe that is what I am feeling.... freefalling... these are the seconds before the crash.